These 5 Barriers Prevent You From Being a Better Leader. Here’s What to Do Differently
What your team members would tell you if you just stopped talking.
By Alison Davis
I spend a lot of time asking employees about how leaders can be more effective communicators. Just yesterday, in fact, I moderated a focus group with employees at a fast-growing consumer products company.
The people in the group provided the same feedback I hear time and time again: Leaders are pretty good at sharing information, but they’re lousy listeners.
As a leader myself, I know how hard it is to slow down and actually pay attention to what your team member is saying, especially when you’re thinking about the 87 other issues you have to address and you’re pretty sure you already know how to solve the team member’s problem.
But you can’t be a great leader if you’re a terrible listener. As Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning write in How to Communicate, “Listening is a commitment and a compliment.”
“It’s a commitment to understanding how other people feel, how they see their world. It means putting aside your own prejudices and beliefs, your anxieties and self-interest, so that you can step behind the other person’s eyes.”
And listening is a compliment because it says to the other person, “I care about what’s happening to you; your life and experience are important.”
What’s the most effective way to become a better listener? Identify the barriers that prevent you from listening effectively–and then use one important strategy for overcoming those barriers. The 5 most common listening barriers for leaders are:
1. Mind-reading.
As McKay, Davis, and Fanning write, “The mind-reader is trying to figuring out what the other person is really thinking and feeling… (paying) less attention to words than to intonations and subtle cues in an effort to see through to the truth.”
2. Filtering.
You listen to some things and not to others. A common way that leaders filter is to avoid hearing “certain things–particularly anything threatening, negative, critical, or unpleasant. It’s as if the words were never said: You simply have no memory of them.”
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